Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dastoor-e-safar

Ek khaamosh sa lamha, chhookar beh gaya
Ek zindagi mili, ek waqt theher gaya

Kuchh baat thi us galiyare ki, jahan se guzar gaye hum
Us galiyare mein ek dil theher gaya

Kabhi dee thi dastak, haule haule dhadkan si
Kabhi ruk gayi, kabhi haath theher gaya

Kahan ki khushi phir laut aayi hai aaj
Kahan ka ghum, theher kar bikhar gaya

Shayad yehi dastoor-e-safar hai ke
Unke saath, ek manzar theher gaya.

3 comments:

Arman said...

Arey Bisen bhai aap to huzoor bilkul chchupe rustam nikle!!! Bahut zabardast, bahut behtarin, wah wah!!!

Would like to edit it a bit, though (with your permission). This is known as "Tashrih" or enhancement, in Urdu. What I have tried to do is to balance the two lines of each couplet.

This is what came out:

Ik khaamosh sa lamha, chhookar bikhar gaya;
Ik zindagi mili, ik waqt theher gaya;

Kuchh baat thei us galiyaare ki jidhar se guzre hum;
Uss galiyaare mein ik dil theher gaya;

Kabhi dee dastak, misaal-e-harkat-e-qalb si;
Kabhi yeh dil ruka, kabhi haath theher gaya;

Kahan ki khushi laut aayi hai phir aaj;
Kis disa ka ghum, thehar kar bikhar gaya;

Shaayad yehi dastoor-e-safar hai Bisen (or you can add your pet name that you want);
Ik pal ka unka saath, ik manzar theher gaya...

BuraNaMaano said...

dear armaan sahab, aapne to chaar chand laga diye. i am very happy to read the edit. it's so much more meaningful now. and so much deeper. you have captured what i wanted to say in words that would not have come to me. only you can do that. :) please keep the encouragement going. we deserve it.

Qais Mujeeb said...

Bisen sb,

Nice post and very interesting to read.

Sharjeel, I liked your nicely done edit too.

Isey kahunga Sone pe Suhaaga. This is the way we all can build up on knowledge of Urdu poetry.